OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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