I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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