oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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