Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
