is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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