That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
