I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
