i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
