So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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