I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
