I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
This house was built for laser tag.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
