I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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