are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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