I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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