david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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