Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
