What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
