why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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