a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize