I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
