I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Alive.
So much puke
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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