You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize