it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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