And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
