Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
