Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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