strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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