in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
