sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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