wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
