So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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