1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
