Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
