oh god the rape fog is back!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
bring money and cleavage
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
