Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
