and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
