Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
