You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
