who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
