I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize