It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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