what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
