You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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