My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
