i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
