just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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