I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize