she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize