Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
