so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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