lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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