i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
