um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
