cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
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