This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize