Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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