i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
