Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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