Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
