WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
this will be a night to untag.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
