I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
