whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
