saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize