Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
