just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
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