My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
