He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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