Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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