i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
