remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Drunk is not a location!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
